Posts tagged with such-wrongness
The mind boggles.
Deadline is reporting that 13-year-old Mad Men actress Kiernan Shipka has signed on for the lead role in Lifetime's upcoming Flowers in the Attic adaptation. I guess this answers my question as to whether or not people think this movie is going to be a Crazy Big Deal...
I cannot believe this is a thing.
I am seriously skeeved out by the idea of a Flowers in the Attic movie. I mean, I understand what they're hoping for: "It was shocking... titillating... the Fifty Shades of its day!" But is this really the kind of thing people feel nostalgic about? Want to actually watch? I remember the books being available at supermarket checkout stands...
Have they nothing else to do with their time?
Wooow. I was ridiculously excited by the recent news that England's ten-pound banknote is going to feature Jane Austen's face*, but apparently some people were less delighted: according to Jezebel, Caroline Criado-Perez, the woman who lead the campaign to feature Austen's image, has received a "deluge" of rape and death threats from Twitter users...
Still not April Fool's Day
Good LORD. There's a 12-foot tall statue of Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy floating in a lake in London. I can't decide if I'm terrified (this is not a particularly realistic representation, guys) or if I think that miniature versions should be sold as home decor options for personal swimming pools...
Adults behaving badly
I had no idea that anyone wanted to make a modern-day film adaptation of Henry James's grim 1897 novel What Maisie Knew, but apparently someone did, and it should hit theaters tomorrow. I will never understand how movies based on stories like this (depressing, melodramatic, and stocked with hopelessly unappealing characters) get made, and yet no one will give me a Georgette Heyer adaptation...
There's a sucker born every minute
Even for Restoration Hardware, which I think of as a veritable temple of ridiculousness, these "Grand Tomes" journals are pretty silly. Inspired by 18th century antique books, these replicas are hand-crafted, which in this case actually means hand-damaged...
This is real thing, apparently.
April Fools' Day is so close, but we're not actually there yet. So I'm assuming this isn't a joke: someone actually wrote a children's book called Mr. Penny and the Dragon of Domeville, and it's about a "singular" little penny who battles a dragon that represents a bloated federal government...
Revisionist history
There has been a lot of absolutely horrifying news coverage of the fallout from Louisiana's new law offering private-school vouchers to poor and middle-class students. Thanks to Gov. Bobby Jindal's voucher program...
Jane Austen and Lifetime
I am straight-up appalled by this idea: Jennifer Love Hewitt is teaming up with Lifetime to develop Darcy's Town, a "modern retelling of Jane Austen's literary classic Pride and Prejudice set in a small Virginia town". I was much less horrified by the article's mention of another Austen-inspired TV project...
"Experience the saga"... for upwards of three grand
I'm not sure whether to snicker at this news or roll my eyes like a slot machine, so I'll probably settle for doing both. If you're looking for a replica of the staggeringly tacky Twilight engagement ring: today's your lucky day. Bed Bath & Beyond is now selling a line of fine jewelry "honoring the Twilight love story"...
Just what the world needs
Painful news: Gossip Cop informs me that author E. L. James has recently struck three North American licensing deals to sell official Fifty Shades of Grey underwear, shirts, stockings, bathrobes, garters, pajamas and other apparel...
WHHHYYY???
Speaking of TV reboots, the world does NOT NEED a new version of the excellent Canadian television adaptation of Anne of Green Gables, but, alas, it's getting one anyway...
That is some low-budget cover art, too.
According to E!Online, some e-book company called Clandestine Classics has taken a bunch of classic novels and sexed 'em up. The article name-drops the Brontes, Austen, Melville, and Conan Doyle as potential subjects (victims?)...
Clear your schedule, Mr. Cronenberg. Please.
See, at first I thought Bret Easton Ellis (who recently announced that he would like to write a movie adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey) was describing the book's protagonists as "potentially great comedic characters", and that seemed fair. Sadly, I was wrong. He actually said...
The perfect spot to watch TV
If you're looking for the ideal finishing touch for your living room, may I suggest this $30,000 Game of Thrones "Iron Throne" replica? I'm pretty sure it's exactly what your home decor needs to feel complete...
Classy!
Here's another one of those "...for serious?" moments: according to AceShowbiz, Kevin Federline's aunt has written an erotic novel inspired by her relative's short-lived marriage to Britney Spears. The book, entitled Pop Baby Krissy Doucet, is the first title in a projected series...
Impressively gross
I probably shouldn't snicker over this, but I can't help it. The book world has been abuzz with news about E.L. James's unexpectedly successful Twilight-fanfiction-turned-published-erotic-novel Fifty Shades of Grey, which I've been doing my best to ignore....
So twisted
They're seriously planning a Katniss Everdeen Barbie? I thought that was an early April Fool's joke, but apparently it's a real thing. I... can't quite wrap my head around the idea. Are they still going to make her a traditional Barbie, with the high-heel shaped feet and impossible body image and everything? Because if that's the case, no joke, I would rather buy a Katniss Cabbage Patch doll. Or a Katniss My Little Pony.
It's almost Halloween, right?
Slate recently posted an article about the original Pinocchio story, which they claim is considerably creepier than the 1940s Disney version. Now, normally this wouldn't come as much of a surpris...
The Prince Tudor Theory
I don't know about you, but I have my doubts about a movie that employs (SPOILERS*) murder, deception, bribery, and an incestuous affair between Queen Elizabeth I and her illegitimate son, all to ...
We will all be happier if this is an image-free post.
These Reborn Harry Potter Babies are the most horrifying things I have ever seen. I'd like to think the dolls are some kind of belated April Fool's Day joke... but whenever I click the link to re...
Been there
According to The Hollywood Reporter, Keri Russell has signed on to star in the upcoming film adaptation of Shannon Hale's novel Austenland. The movie will be directed by Jerusha Hess (best known ...
Yes, it's real.
This came to our attention via the Horn Book Blog, and we're assured it's an actual book.
Eating Peter Rabbit
And the award for grossest-looking book tie-in I've seen for some time goes to these Peter Rabbit Gummy Candies, reviewed by the always-fascinating Candy Blog:They look repulsive, and that was bef...
Michael Buckley has gone AWOL
The last several times I've checked Amazon for news of the ninth and final Sisters Grimm book, the only thing that's turned up has been a book about Capital Tax Acts. I've managed to remain calm,...
The fall of civilization
According to Publishers Weekly, second-quarter earnings at HarperCollins have fallen, although they claim their children's department (which produces titles ranging from the Pretty Little Liars se...
This is a gift from fate.
Thank you, GoFugYourself ladies, for introducing me to this, which in turn lead me to this. My week has now been made.
Pride and Prejudice goes R-rated
And speaking of Jane Austen-related pain, check this out:The above is what its publisher describes as a "deliciously naughty updating" of Austen's Pride and Prejudice, making it "the story you lov...