No way, no how

It will be a sub-zero day in hell before I spend $45 on a candle, but these little gems from Assouline Publishing promise to evoke the "atmosphere of your fantasy library, and the pleasure of reading, through the enigmatic scent of paper".

Sadly, my biggest library fantasies involve books that don't smell like 90-year-old chain smokers and don't have pages sealed shut with mystery stains. Clearly, I have no soul.