Speak of the wishy-washy devil and he shall appear.

Hah! I was just referencing Archie's perpetual romantic waffling, and immediately ran across this charming news item: according to MediaBistro, the Archie/Veronica/Betty love triangle is going to be transformed into a series of YA novels. The first book, Archie: A Rock & Roll Romance, is already available:

"It's the greatest love song in Archie history! Things are shaken up in a big way when Valerie, Josie and the Pussycats' bassist, moves to Riverdale. In the style of the 'Archie Wedding' and 'Married Life' graphic novels, Valerie takes a stroll down Riverdale's magical Memory Lane and is greeted with a vision of what her life would be like if she married Archie. Of course, the future is full of surprises!

The musical couple will have to face a lot of challenges on their way to happily-ever-after. They'll have to harmonize to deal with rock band drama, reality TV and "real jobs." But their biggest challenge will also be their most successful collaboration, when their daughter Star lives up to her name and her talented heritage. And of course, all the dreams and drama come laced with the classic comic mayhem we all expect from Archie!"

Why does everyone want to date this tool? WHY?!?