You don't deserve it, sir.

Well, it's almost Halloween, and this seems more than adequately horrifying to me: there are loads of rumors going around that Andrew Davies will be allowed to write a second season of Sanditon, his racy fanfic continuation of the unfinished Jane Austen novel. If ITV is just going to go hog-wild with the seeds of Austen's idea, I think they should do it round-robin style: each season can be written by a different Jane Austen screenwriter. For season 2, I nominate Sandy Welch.

Note to disappointed Sanditon viewers: there is actually a very respectable novel, originally published anonymously in 1975, that finishes Austen's fragment. I'm not sure if it's still in print, but it's a reasonably satisfying adaptation.