A yearly gift

And the best part of summer has arrived: the "winners" of the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced! They're all pretty great, but here's a small sampling of my favorites:

"Walking through the northernmost souk of Marrakech, that storied and cosmopolitan city so beloved of voyagers wishing to shake the desert dust off their feet, Peter bought a French-language newspaper and realized, with dizzying dismay, that 'Camille' can be a man’s name." — Myriam Nys, Mechelen, Belgium

"'My name is Vangir,' the stout dwarf announced, "son of Valdir, son of Tolfdir, son of Torsson, heir to the dwarf kingdom of Darag-Vur, King of the Under-Folk, ring-giver, dragon-slayer, M.D., DDS." — Austin Stollhaus, Louisville, KY

"With his lamp giving off a dull yellow glow General Washington sat up late into the night contemplating his problems: Not enough food, not enough clothing, not enough men, and that idiot Private Doodle who kept putting feathers in his cap and calling it macaroni."— Dan Leyde, Shoreline, WA

"If Vicky Walters had known that ordering an extra shot of espresso in her grande non-fat sugar free one pump raspberry syrup two pumps vanilla syrup soy latte that Wednesday would lead to her death and subsequent rebirth as a vampire, she probably would have at least gotten whipped cream."— Margo Coffman, Corinth MS

Actually, I'd totally read that last one.